My Phantom trilogy has more layers and more things I’m trying to do than anything I’ve written before. A lot of the work of revising is to make sure all those layers are there. Or, to put it with another metaphor, to make sure each of many, many threads is woven through in the right places with the right prominence.
So it’s nice when I can work a lot of things into a small space–because there’s plenty to get in here. I made edits to the scene below, adding layers (or weaving in more threads). Most of this was slipped into a conversation that was already in the previous draft–but I managed to add a musician reference for Erik, have Meg observe it, explore why Erik is haunting the Opera, give Meg data on same, add a music metaphor for Meg the ballet dancer, and throw in a clarification on just how rich Erik is–all while the main purpose of the larger scene is actually what Erik is going to do about the policeman hunting him, something that’s starting to nudge him out of his apathy.
Revisions are complicated. 🙂
Erik drummed his fingertips against the stage, each one tapping independently as though he was following a rhythm too complex for me to decipher. A pipe organ—Christine had mentioned a pipe organ and that’s what this was like, like a musician’s hand on keys.
So busy watching his hand, I almost missed his words, when he said, voice quiet, “Don’t you think it’s an awful thing, a man terrifying an Opera Company with hauntings?”
Maybe it was strange to say, but I never had. I lived among the people he was frightening, and yet never disliked him for doing it. Maybe I was too used to it. Or maybe he had always drawn just the right line. “They’re not actually that frightened,” I said. “I think they enjoy—”
“Of course they’re frightened,” he said sharply, going as stiff and tense as he’d been when he first stepped out. “They have to be, that’s the point.”
Talking to Erik was like a very complicated dance, one where you never knew which board in the floor was going to drop out from under you. It kept things lively. I made a tactical retreat, a temps levé backwards. “Yes, of course.” A meaningless phrase, then a jump to a new topic. “And really, it’s Monsieur Andre’s problem if he doesn’t appreciate the valuable services of a theatre ghost. All things considered, you’re probably a bargain.”
He turned his head to look at me this time, eyes widening in surprise. “Do you know how much they’re paying me?”
More each month than I was likely to earn my entire career—but that wasn’t what mattered, and my half-joking comment had set me off on a sudden new idea. I sat up straighter. “No, wait, maybe that’s the answer!”
But you’ll have to read the book to find out the answer 🙂
2 thoughts on “Writing Wednesday: Layers”
Good way to leave us in suspense at the end of this excerpt! 🙂
Nicely done. Both the layering and teasing us with an interesting development…